The Assignment Starts...

The day has come, D leaves for ZH for his 1 year assignment. I let him go with a heavy heart. It's tough enough that Isabelle & I will not be seeing him so often, but the timing has been really bad. Isabelle is currently recovering from bronchitis, and my dear grandma is in hospital, probably in her final days now, and I won't be able to go back to M'sia to see her. I try to brush it off that this is just a 2 weeks business trip, and that time will pass by quickly and he will be home again soon. Though the fact is he will be hardly home with us the next 1 year.

I will be strong, I know I will cope. I know I am much stronger and capable than I realize, but the truth is… it is tiring to always have to put up a strong front, to grit your teeth and plough through, to bear with the all the madness around you.

Honestly the toughest part of today is realising that its the weekend tomorrow. Weekends are ever so precious to us, its the time where the 3 of us go out and spend some time together. And I feel lost as to what to do tomorrow, our 1st weekend without D. Where should we go? What activity should we do? It just doesn't feel the same when D is not around.

Many thoughts run through my mind today, and my main conclusion is this. I need to keep myself busy, focused so that I do not let my thoughts go astray, the loneliness seep in. That I need to focus all my energy and time on Isabelle, on reminding her of her daddy's presence in her life, on raising her up well. So here goes my plan for myself, for Isabelle, for us as a family:

1. Wake up early and get ready by 730 am, spend a good 30 minutes with Isabelle before i leave for work.
2. Be efficient at work and target to leave office by 7pm everyday.
3. Read, play with Isabelle before her bedtime
4. Log in to work if required. Otherwise, have an early night as I need to keep myself rested and make sure I do not fall sick.
5. If time or energy permits; search for pre school or enrichment activities for Isabelle.
6. Plan furniture, electricals & lighting required for our new home.
7. Continue our decluttering project for our big move.
8. Plan ahead for D's holidays, search for family activities to do together or a short getaway trip for the family.

The main objective is... keep busy! So far I have survived Day 1. Another 30 days before D comes home again. God, please give me strength!