Tantrums & Meltdowns

Isabelle is going thru this phase of tantrums & meltdowns now. While it used to happen occassionally, it is almost an everday affair now... its just the extent of it. Its quite scary how these meltdowns suddenly come about, and while I try to ignore and not give in to her, sometimes she burst out into major ones and not only throws herself on the floor, but bangs her head too. Occassionaly the time out method works and she calms down after a while. But in recent times, it has not worked and I am almost at wits end.

According to Dr Sears, there are 2 types of tantrums: the manipulative tantrum and the frustration tantrum. The manipulative one seems more easy to pacify, some distraction works....other times the time out method works. But currently its the frustration tantrum which is hard to understand. I know she is trying to tell me something, but the problem is I dont have a clue what she is trying to say. She wil point furiously at a particular direction....sometimes she shouts out "I I I..... (nothing after that, but I know she wants to express her feelings", sometimes she is kneeling before me begging me...and that's actually the worst situation to be in. Being helpless and not being able to help the little one.

I have just gone through the last 12 hours of meltdowns, starting from 11pm last night. It was non stop crying, she could not sleep....I asked if she wanted milk cos she did not finish her milk feed, but honestly I doubt so....I gave her water, I rocked her walking around the room for 3 whole hours till I almost fell backwards from nodding to sleep, but the cries just went on and on. It finally stopped at 4.30am. The tantrums continued this morning (must be partly due to lack of sleep), but at least I managed to pacify her to have her breakfast and lunch. The helper just stares at me blankly, not helping in the already tense situation...I'm almost collapsing from fatigue. My conclusion is Isabelle needs more love around her. Part of the reason for this conclusion is because she sobered down everytime I called D and put him on speaker phone. I think hearing his voice gives her some reassurance, though our conversation goes on about how to deal with her tantrums & meltdowns....but she lies down quietly listening, pacified. BUt once we end the call, her crying starts.

I'm confused at this point. I need D to be home with us. At the same time I have been offered a chance to relocate to HK to accelerate my career, but I know I will turn it down...cos that means less loved ones around her. At least in SIngapore, my parents can spend 1 week in every month with her.