It's almost the end of breastfeeding for me. Not my choice, but simply a case of supply not meeting demand. No matter how hard I try, there's just that much I am able to produce, and Isabelle's appetite is catching up. I'm down to my very last bag of frozen EBM, its like scarce commodity that I hope I wont have to use it soon. I estimate in the next week, I will have to start supplementing 1 formula feed every 2 days for Isabelle. It kinda makes me sad thinking about it. I've always been proud that Isabelle is a 100% breastfed baby, she has great immune system and is perfectly healthy (minus the underweight part), and wished I could continue till she turned one. Alas, this is not going to happen.
I'm just a little worried now...will she reject breastmilk once she has the taste of formula milk? I really hope not, cross fingers. I still want to be able to provide whatever best I can for her, even if its not for all her feeds.
On the brighter side, I can start working on a weaning plan, cutting down 1 pump session per day. That should give me an additional 20 minutes per day to do whatever I want. Sigh, just thinking back now...it seemed such a chore to express when I first started. But now, its part of my daily routine, I don't feel the burden, boredom, frustration, tiredness of doing so. Those precious 20 minutes are the times I take to call home to check on Isabelle, talk to her, call home to mum, (ok, and play some games on Iphone to relax). But most times, I spend thinking about Isabelle, looking at all her photos in my Iphone or on facebook. I will certainly miss these times!
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